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Twilight

by Yonti Ma

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1.
HEART ON FIRE Heart on fire, walking through, it’s what I do, it’s what I/we do, it’s what I/we do, I walk right through. It’s what I do. Soul on fire, breaking through , it’s what I do, it’s what I do, I break right through. Parting veils, filling sails, and splitting nails, it’s what I do, It’s what I do. Splitting nails, and jumping rails and blazing trails it’s what I do, it’s what I do. Life on fire growing through, it’s what I do, it’s what I do, I grow right through. I grow right through. Light the sky, heart on fire. Kiss the night soul on fire. Hold on tight life on fire. I made this life that I cannot alter. I made this life and I must not falter. I made this life out of what’s inside me. I walk this line between flight, and dying. Heart on fire, walking through, it’s what we do, it’s what we do, we walk right through. Souls on fire, breaking through, it’s what we do, it’s what we do, we break right through. Splitting nails and filling sails, jumping rails and blazing trails. It’s what we do, it’s what we do. Lives on fire growing through, it’s what we do, it’s what we do. We grow right through. Oh oh Light the sky, heart on fire. Kiss the night soul on fire. Hold on tight life on fire. Mmm. The world’s on fire. Oh oh oh. I made this life that I cannot alter. I made this life and I must not falter. I made this life out of what’s inside me. I walk this line between flight, and dying.
2.
WATERS Waters flowing down my back. Waters flowing down my back. Waters, dark waters, of memory. Waters flowing down my back. Waters flowing down my face. Waters flowing down my face. Waters, sweet waters, of memory. Waters flowing down my face. Waters flowing down my legs. Waters flowing down my legs. Waters, dark waters, of memory. Waters flowing down my legs. Waters flowing through my mouth. Waters flowing through my mouth. Waters, living waters, of memory. Waters flowing though my mouth. Waters flowing 'neath my feet. Waters flowing 'neath my feet. Waters, sad waters, of memory. Waters flowing ‘neath my feet. Waters flowing through my veins. Waters flowing through my veins. Waters, deep waters, of memory. Waters flowing through my veins.
3.
PRISONERS We are all just prisoners here. Staring out at the sky, and wishing we could fly. The man next to me dreams of rocky places. The woman in the other cell doesn’t dream at all. I remember the smell of blossoms and green things green things in the snow. How does it go? And how do we know? How does it go? And how do we know? We are all just prisoners here. Sleeping on little hard cots with blankets, blankets over our ears, over our ears. The man upstairs from me dreams of seagull wings. He remembers fish that jump, jump right on the boat. He remembers wool sweaters in the rain. And sheep that leave their traces, traces, traces on the rock walls. Traces on the rock walls. We are all just prisoners here. In this strange moment that’s building, building…. oh... We are all just prisoners here. Watching the inevitable. Watching. Is it really inevitable? Is it really inevitable? How could we know? The man next to me dreams of rocky places. He remembers fish that jump right on the boat. It was Eden I tell you, it was Eden, it was Eden I recall. Before before before before we made ourselves, just prisoners here. Oh. We are all just prisoners here…… It was Eden. Eden I recall….. It was Eden. I recall.
4.
I went down to the lake mist dawning bright oh....the water, the water.... covers everything She stood there cloaked all in green knowing just why I'd come
5.
Way Deep 06:05
WAY DEEP Deep inside your belly, lives the mythical stone….. Philosopher’s treasure. Greedy man’s grail. Greedy man’s grail. Holy and silent, unobserved, unobserved, unobserved, unobserved. Serving it’s hours. A flower making fruit A butterfly who lives as though 3 days is forever... Way Deep…… With every breath, you swallow the world…… It’s broken shards. It’s cutting edges…. oh oh. You polish them on this magic this magic, magic, magic stone inside. Whispering the secret “I LOVE YOU” to things you find, things you find, things you find ugly and wrong, ugly and wrong…. Way Deep…. Drinking the mordant, that etches your way…. Your soul the chalice, the chalice, the cauldron, the channel The crucible. You are the ocean, the ocean… In which no sharp thing, no sharp thing…. lasts. No sharp thing lasts…. Way Deep…..
6.
LIFE ECSTATIC I don’t want to ride upon your little pony. I don’t want to be told yet another story. I don’t want to ride in a fairy carriage. I want to fly. For fucking real. I don’t want to roll down a hill unless it’s very tall and you are laughing along side me. Better if it’s raining better if it’s raining…… oh, oh, oh. I’m tired of pretending that my soul has chosen, every little fucked up thing that happens. I’m tired of pretending, that it’s not OK, to be not actually in control of, well really, anything. So much that passes for wisdom these days is just more koolaid you can drink. It’s different colors, but it all tastes the same. It all tastes quite the same at the end of the day. The human mind is such a very small box into which to fit an entire universe. The human mind is such a very small box into which to fit an entire multiverse. Have you ever noticed that the words of all the wisdoms seem to come down to one thing which is that: “Hey little mind in there you’re really Ok, it’s really OK. Even all the things you think are not OK they are OK" because… Jesus died for you. Because your soul is choosing all this too. Because nothing ever happens that you haven’t really pre-arranged with your soul in some far away plane. What happened to the parts of the all the world’s religions that just say be kind? What has happened to the parts of the all the world’s religions that say, love is blind? What has happened to the soul of every human who used to know how to run from tigers but now just sits at home watching Netflix and ordering sandwiches to be delivered by Amazon? Remember the Amazon the real, the real Amazon, that wild place? Remember the last ice age when we all huddled together around fires and sang songs. Remember the last time… you really felt a feeling all the way from it’s beginning to it’s proper end? When you didn’t stick a piece of wisdom in the mouth of the child, a feeling like a great big pacifier, fire, fire, fire, fire fire! Your soul was shouting fire. You put a pacifier in the shouting, shouting, shouting. We all need to do a lot more shouting, need to do a lot more shouting, do a lot more shouting. Not of words, but just of our grief. That wordless place inside… that knows what pain is. …. I don’t think my soul came here to suffer. I don’t think my soul came here to be small. I don’t believe it all. …. Butterflies dance with the supernova of our True being, isn’t …. well it isn’t…. Is there any truth to being? There isn’t, there isn’t. So be it. So be it. So be it. So be it. I love you and I want your life to be ecstatic. I love you and I want your life to be. I love you and I want your life to be ecstatic. I love you. I love you.
7.
WAITING FOR YOU dig dig dig dig…… I have come from the stars I am here to help It is time --------------- I incarnate thus on the heaven interface What you see is not who I am Be at peace Dear ones, rest, rest, rest, rest your hearts The struggle is too much It’s now the only thing in your way You have become accustomed, accustomed STOP, there is nothing to do You are like a mountain climber Who has reached a peak and suddenly Refuses to see the view Looking among the rocks for something else to climb You fear that your efforts were in vain They were not they were not they were not They were utterly necessary But they are worse than in vain now They are killing you You are like the butterfly Fully hatched but refusing your wings Determined to wrap yourself again In the shreds of your own cocoon Believe in your own freedom Believe in your own freedom The future is waiting The future is waiting The future is waiting The future is waiting…. We are waiting for you We are waiting for you…….. Be at peace
8.
All creatures, great and small Where do you go? When the waters are rising? When the storms are spinning? When the fires are burning? When the rains just won’t come? All creatures, great and small Where do you go? Where, where, where? Finding home, finding home...
9.
Seashore 03:58
SEASHORE I am walking on the seashore with the birdies riding high Won’t you please come stand with me on the seashore staring out at the sea My gift to you is this openness, this channel through which light falls and words bloom on stalks of green memory. I do the work by turning daily the compost of living striving to make the broken egg, the moldy leaf into dark earth, alive enough to grow my shining heart. I am a soul farmer hauling tears in buckets to water these words grown carefully in my garden Fresh, fresh, fresh….just for you. I am walking on the seashore with the birdies riding high....
10.
Harvest 04:44
HARVEST What is the harvest at the end of the world? When leaves fallen, have made their peace with dust, And the bees sleeping dream of flowers never yet What is the harvest at the end……the end of the world? What is there to pull from the void? The web of time itself, fading. As a man breaks the heard-wrought silks strung across, across the path. Oh great story weaver, what will you write of this? Oh great story, great story weaver, what will you write? What will you write? At the end of the world? What will you write? You were here, there things happened, things happened remember, remember, remember believe, forget. Sleep and wake, now and ready. Sleep and wake, new and ready. Trust you are nourished, even if you don’t know what you ate. Trust you are nourished, even if you don't know what you ate. What is the harvest at the end of the world? The end of the world…
11.
I sing for thee... forgotten ones.
12.
LITTLE BIRDS Little birds on a wire…. calling… calling to the sky... In this life we have so little control over the flames We cling to each other just for the waking hours But in sleep we dream, dream of flying In sleep we dream of flying, flying Little birds on a wire… calling… calling to the sky… God is up there somewhere watching all these little birds, calling, God is up there somewhere watching all these little birds, calling God is down here somewhere watching all these little birds, calling God is down here somewhere watching all these little birds, calling God is in here somewhere watching all these little birds, calling God is here somewhere, God is in here somewhere….. God is in here somewhere, up there somewhere, down there somewhere, out there somewhere…. Calling to the sky…..
13.
The end is the beginning; the beginning is the end.

about

An album both obliquely and literally about climate crisis, this album was born to hold space for the complexity of our inner experience in facing our precarious and precious moment. Hope, heartbreak, memory, terror, grief, possibility, impossibility, passion, desire, desperation... All the feelings that must be kept fresh and moving if we are to access our brightest creativity both personally and collectively. I deeply hope we do. May this be a safe place for your heart to visit often. Love, Yonti Ma

This album is dedicated to my mother, Arlene Willits, who left her body on the Winter Solstice in 2018. We go into the dark to get to the light.

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credits

released March 21, 2023

Yonti Ma: music, lyrics, vocals, guitar, wooden flutes, piano, thumb piano, violin, percussion
Sean Frenette: bass
Matthew Stanbro: beat boxing, vocal percussion
Megan Coil: violin
Skip VonKuske: cello
Hamid Shibata Bennet: guitar
Planet Earth: water sounds, bird sounds

Cover Art - Yonti Ma

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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Yonti Ma Portland, Oregon

Using voice and sound to make sacred spaces for us to BE. Made from surrender, I hope my music inspires it in others. The untethered boat takes the best journey. Cryptic? Yeah, expect cryptic. Musical koans to break the mind and open the being.

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